GVP's Way is the author's blog including book and movie reviews, thoughts on the craft of writing, perspectives on the business of publishing, and musings on life, politics, and family.
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He's a walking contradiction
Partly truth and partly fiction
Taken every wrong direction
On his lonely way back home
And there's a lot of wrong directions
On that lonely way back home.
The Pilgrim
Kris Kristofferson
Entries in Family (41)
Five Things You Can Learn From a Dog
In the nearly three weeks since Shelby's sudden and unexpected passage I've had some time to reflect on my years with her and my relationship with her. On my now solitary jogs and walks through Jetton Park, I've come to realize I learned a few things from Shelby over the years. I think I'm a better person for our relatively brief time together.
Food, Water, Shelter, and Love. Gurf Morlix, a much admired singer/songwriter, has a song by this title and it underscores and summarizes one of the most important things I learned from Shelby. So long as you have these basics in your life, little else really matters and you can pretty much get through anything. Early on, I learned that Shelby was not just satisfied with these things, she was happy. But that didn't stop her from asking for the occasional treat and in retrospect I wish I'd given her more treats.
Gary
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Off to Omaha
I expected to rant for several entries about how George W ruined the country, Why, I was just get warmed up. I was going to go on about his administration forgot to plan for the aftermath of a war won in 3days, how him and Cheney and Rummy almost singlehandledly demolished US relations with most other countries in the world, how George W is personally responsible for the housing market melt down and high gas prices. I wanted to rant on about how eight years of "do nothing" had left this country more insecure from attack and economic failure than anything the terrorists had done. I wanted to bitch about how the Constitution had suffered such a frontal attack since Nixon.
But then my dog died and I lost steam. Mary and I sat on the back porch, drank wine, and cried for three nights running.
Shelby the Dog--July 1999 to July 2008
We lost our dog, Shelby last night. It happened so suddenly we're still not sure what exactly happened. She became disoriented and unable to move well shortly after dinner last night. We called the vet and about 8:30 decided that the best thing to do was bring in the next morning. She got progressively worse, basically falling into a deep sleep, but apparently without discomfort. Mary and I left her resting under the dining room table about 11:00 PM. I found her by her food and water dishes in the kitchen early this morning about 5:00 AM. She'd been dead several hours.
Fathers and Sons
I love being the father of a six-year old boy. Each day begins with a descent down the stairs and an interruption of my writing. It may come in the form of an ambush. It may come in the form of a frontal attack. It may come in the form of a running hug. In any case, our days begin full-tilt, then it's off to school, during which I have a few hours respite, only for the assault to resume in mid-afternoon. He's heavy into marines and weaponry. Ice and snow scrapers become machine guns, discarded crutches become anti-aircraft weaponry, and a common question is when the first exploding grenade burst onto the scene.
A year from now, he will have moved on to something else, as surely as he moved from being a construction worker to a warrior. This is why I spare him the lecture about his mother and I being lovers not fighters, about how we're liberals, about how we believe in negotiated solutions rather than violent solutions.
Jet Setter-A Tale of Two Cities
Somehow I don't feel like a member of the jet set, but I do feel like both Mary and I have been traveling a lot this year--some of it on pleasure, some of it on business.
I traveled earlier this week to Phoenix for two days to teach a group of bankers about annuities. Yesterday I traveled to Omaha to visit my daughters, granddaughter, and new grandson, Reed Heaton.
The pic is of Abby, doing Chicken Little. Reilly, my six-year old son, also had this costume, but he was better known as the Crazy Chicken. He liked to dress up in the costume, ride his tricycle, make loud chicken noises, and chase the poor dog. Abby is more subdued.
Phoenix
With the three hour time change, that first day seemed interminable. I checked into my hotel, took a nap, drank a glass of wine in the lounge, and settled on a non-descript club sandwich for dinner.
Upstairs in my room I fell asleep watching TV, shortly after sunset in Phoenix.
Of course, I awoke at 3:00 AM Pacific Time. I read for three hours, waiting for the sun to rise. Then I went for a walk. Then I poured down a quart of coffee.
Somehow, I pushed through that day’s six-hour training session, inspired by the energy and enthusiasm of my students. But no sooner was I back in my hotel room, than I fell dead asleep only to wake around dinner time. I was slowly adjusting to west coast time, but felt disoriented and exposed on that treeless desert where Phoenix resides.
A Very Bright Light
I've written a lot about my daughter Ashley and the challenges we experienced as she transitioned from teenager to young adult. For the time being, at least, Ashley seems to have found her footing. She's attending and doing well in beauty school in Omaha. We have high hopes that things will continue to work out for her.
I've not written as much about my six-year old son, Reilly. But, especially since Ashley left our Big Yellow House, Reilly has become the focus of attention. At age 56, I'm the father of a salty, rough and ready, stubborn, determined, creative, smart, sweet, little man. I doubt that it comes through in this blog, but the truth is that Reilly's light burns so bright that the writing, the cooking, the gardening, the boating, all take a second chair.
He is "up and at 'em" at the crack of dawn, often terrorizing the dog or the neighbor's cat, while I'm working on a story or blog entry on the screen porch. He's got Star Wars and Transformer paraphernalia in every pocket of his Surfer Dude shorts and a combat rifle over his shoulder. He's working The Mom for candy in his lunch box before he goes off to Y camp for the day. He could use a bath, needs to brush his teeth, and his shoes smell a little funky.
His language is as salty as a sailor's after a six-month tour at sea.
Big Boy Now!
Reilly, my six year old took a big step toward adulthood this week. He learned to ride his bicycle without training wheels.
Monday afternoon, we tried it down hill on the grass on the front lawn. He did pretty well, but fell before he reached the street. I told him it was easier to peddle on the pavement. He tried again and made it down the lawn, across the street, and onto the neighbor's front lawn.
Now he was bold enough to try it in the street. He had it on the first try. I gave him a push, steadied him and he was off.
Now, by the end of the week, he's riding up and down the street like a wild man with his older buddies, Hampton and Connor.
When the Yellow Moon Rises
I owe my daughter Ashley a call. On Saturday night, I was reading Mary a new short story I recently completed. It's a pretty good story about how you can never go home--an old theme I know, but one that each of us must explore in our own way--when the phone rang. We let it go to voicemail and the message from Ashley was that she wanted me to look outside and see the large yellow moon just rising--there was no need to call back, she said.
Now, of course, she's in Omaha and I'm here in North Carolina, so our moon was already high and bright and Ashley didn't consider that, but I'd like to think that her message represents a turning point in her life. I hope she was calling to ask me to enjoy the moon, because so many times in her short life I've tried to encourage her to enjoy simple things--a sunrise, a sunset, a walk in the park on a pristine spring morning, a good meal, or an evening spent in the company of family--and she wanted to return the favor. I hope she was calling to say "Dad, I get it. I don't have to be the prettiest, funniest girl around, I don't have to be at the biggest party, run with the wildest crowd, or down the most drugs. No, I get it, I can be happy enjoying a simple moonrise."
Perils of Nurse Ratchit
A major challenge you face with a child who has bi-polar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and a drug and alcohol addiction is that her disorders are integrally intermingled with a lack of self-discipline, mmaturity, and laziness. A second major challenge is that you never know when some or all of these demons will visit with a vengeance.
Merry Christmas from the Family
I don't usually send out those letters inside our Christmas card that tells the recipient what happened to the family over the course of the year. Not that I don't think it's a nice touch. The truth is you meet a lot of people on your journey through life, some of whom you like more than others, some of whom you keep in closer touch with than others, so the annual letter along with the Christmas card actually makes sense. Rather than send the letter out iin the card, I thought I'd just post it here and anyone who wants to read it can.
All in all, 2006 was a pretty good year for us.
- In 2006, Mary and I completed the 10th year of being in business for ourselves. Most small businesses fail within 3-5 years, so I think we've done a reasonably good job of figuring out how to make CenterG, Inc. work. This year our work touched Northwestern Mutual Life, AHIP, Cannon Financial, Ken Kalis, Inc., Sunlife, Bank of America, RegEd, and GoldmanSachs, Evergreen Financial, and Wachovia. Not a bad client list for a two-person business that specializes in the design and development of custom training for financial services companies.
- In 2006, Mary continued her important work with the League of Women Voters and has been especially active in coordinating and teaching a very successful class in local government for both adults and high schoolers. Mid-year she was asked to serve on the board of United Family Services and is just beginning her tenure there.We're very proud of the time Mary donates to both of these valuable organizations. Somehow, Mary also found time and energy to raise a wonderful garden--no doubt the most admired in the neighborhood--as well as the time to pursue her interest in sewing. All of the nephews and nieces receved a custom-made outfit from Aunt Mary.